Safe in Jail

Thank You to the people that said hi, my wife is so sweet to say those nice things about me, I love her more than words can say. BTW, I will be calling her Heather as we are using our real names in our blogs.
I am going to be talking about my "Little's" from the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program periodically and today I am going to talk about LB #1. I was matched with him when I was 19 years old and he was 8 years old. He did not have a father in his life, and really no good male role models either. He and I bonded quickly and as the years have gone on have stayed in touch . He is 27 years now and has had many challenges in his life. We know that his mom drank during pregnancy, but I did not really put anything together until we adopted DD. He has been in and out of jail continually since he was 18 years old. He lives in my home state and when we go back to visit my family I always call his mom to see where he is at, so I can visit with him. Every time I call her to tell her we are coming home I ask her where he is because chances are pretty good that he is in jail. Last summer when we were home he was out and working and had a place to live, He and I had a very nice visit, spent most of the day together, he was telling me about how he was getting his life together, was a very nice day. So the other night I call his mom and ask "the question" and she replies " he is safe in jail". I believe that she feels at peace when he is in jail because he is not out harming himself or others. He mostly gets dui"s and gets out of jail and will go out and drive again. He also has a very hard time holding down a job, right now he has Huber so he gets out to work and then goes back to jail after work. His mom says he is actually doing pretty well, making good money and seems happy. I have learned that people with FAS for the most part like and thrive on structure. He lived with us for about 3 months and did great when he had people helping him get to work. I know I thrive on structure, weekends are hard for me when we have nothing planned, I like to know when I need to be at work and when I need to be at an appointment or social gatherings Heather has a schedule right on the computer so that I know where I am supposed to be and when.
I keep praying for LB#1 and hope that he will be able to find peace and happiness, I keep telling him what a smart and caring person he is and that I am not going anywhere, I might be 300 miles away, but I will always love and care about him.
It would be great to be able to get him diagnosed, but I do not think mom will go along with that, she has not mentioned this, LB"s adult sister told Heather and I. Thank You for listening to my ramblings about LB #1 and I will talk more about myself next time.

Joining the world of blogging!

My name is Jeff and I am 37 years old. My purpose of this blog is to write down my feelings about being adopted, having suspected fetal alcohol syndrome, raising 2 children who are adopted, one with FAS, the other with attachment issues, having 2 " little brothers" through Big Brothers/Big Sisters, who are both struggling with FAS issues. I want my thoughts and feelings to first help me personally with dealing with the challenges that I face, and second to be able to help others who might be struggling with the same issues. I am really hoping that other dads out there dealing with some of these same things will be able to find support by reading and sharing. This is a very big job that we have as adoptive dads and the challenges that FAS brings.
I do need to mention that I am a christian and that I will be talking about my faith, but I am very open to others opinions and comments.
I would like to tell you a little about myself, and I will be telling more in future posts, so this will be the general stuff. I am married to a wonderful woman, who I will refer to as DW for "dear wife", my son- DS, and my daughter- DD. I work at a printing company and also work part time driving school bus for charter trips.
I do have a hard time with keeping all my thoughts straight, so I might not make sense sometimes, but I will do my best. DW is an excellent writer and I could have her proofread everything, but this is my blog and I feel that people need to see how sometimes the thoughts of FAS are, which I will explain later.
I am looking forward to sharing some of my life with you, happy, sad, frustrating, rewarding, and all the other times that make up our lives.
Take care, and I will be back shortly.