I just wanted to write a quick note to let everyone know that Mofas is sponsoring a workshop for fathers on August 6th and August 7th. I would encourage any father that lives in the twin cities to consider going to this. I think it will be very informative and its free. I will be going on Thursday night and would like to meet you if you come.
When I registered, Sierra from Mofas said that women, grandparents, and other family members are also welcome.
As a father of an fas child, I am looking forward to learning new ways of dealing with my child.
For more info on this workshop, please go to the Mofas website.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Work and a short jail visit
I needed to go into work this morning and I was going to go in at 8:00 am and work till 12:00 pm. I ended up working from 4:00 am to 8:00 am because...
My second "little brother" who I will call J is 20 years old, I was matched with him when he was 9 years old. He was adopted out of foster care by a single woman. His birth mom was doing drugs and according to a birth aunt was also drinking during pregnancy. J has never been diagnosed but shows alot of the signs with poor impulse control and other things that I will talk about in the future. He has been in and out of minor trouble during his teen years and quit high school and started hanging with some people that were loosely associated with a street gang. J and I would get together about once a month during the later years of our relationship. J did not have a father and I think he enjoyed the time I spent with him, he would always give me a hug whenever I dropped him off, he would never tell me much about what he was feeling, or what he was doing in his life because I am sure he knew that I would disapprove, but he always would be there when I picked him up.
In April of 2008 I got a call from J telling me that he got himself into a big mess, he was hanging around these people that he should have never been hanging around with. He told me that he was being accused of murder, there were five people and drugs and alcohol were involved and one of the the men was shot and died. J has been in jail since then and his story and 1 other persons story match up, everyone else's stories are all over the map. It took the police about 1 month to figure out that J did not commit the murder and he is being charged with assercory to murder. The man who they believe committed the murder has been going back and forth with his story but did plead guilty a couple of weeks ago. J will have his sentencing hopefully within a month and then will be sent to prison for about 2 years. I do have more I would like to say about J and his situation, but I am going to save that for a later post.
Anyway, so J has not wanted any visitors for many months except his mom and girlfriend, so when I was talking to his mom last week she said that he has been having others visit him, so I told her if he wanted me to visit to have him put my name on the list. I did not really think that he wanted a visit from me, so I was very surprised when his mom called me last night and told me that J put my name on the list. I had told my boss that I would work for 4 hours today so I went into work at 4 am and at 8:00 I drove downtown with the wonderful road construction, found a place to park and got into the building to meet J's mom. We had to go through a metal detector, then show our id to the guards, put our personal belongings in a locker, be buzzed into the waiting area and sit and hope that we get a visit because there are about 16 people in front of us. We did get called but had to share a 20 minute visit, his mom gave me most of the time. I am so glad that i went even though it took about 3 hours of my day and getting up at 3:00 am. He thanked me for coming at least 10 times in that 15 minutes we had, we talked about the Brett farve situation, talked about the court he had to testify in last week, and then our time was over, he told me he loved me and was glad that I am his Big brother. That made it all worth it.
These kids out there need to know that we love them and care about them, I keep praying for all the foster kids out there that need a family, they need someone to care and love them. I talked about this in the comment i left on Torina's blog for the contest she had.
This really hits home with me because I had people that took me in as their own and loved and cared about me and helped mold me into who I am today.
I also am a big supporter of Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization, this is a great program and very little time commitment, 2 times a month for a couple of hours is all they ask, you can do more time. The program has been very rewarding for me and for my littles. If this is something you or someone would be interested in you can leave a comment and I will get back to you. I would be happy to answer any questions or direct you to the website.
I need to go now because Heather just told me that the deer ate all her tomatoes in the garden and she is leaving to go buy a gun, I reminded her that we do not allow guns in our house so she went to buy fencing to keep the deer out, so I had better watch my 2 kids and we also have our foster son with us this weekend for respite. Okay, I had better get out there, DD was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and was about to pour sugar from the container that i have for coffee into her water. She is in her room now in a time out, she did not throw her usual fit when I gave her the consequence so I will have to praise her for that, and Heather is back already with fencing I hope and not a gun, HAHA.
My second "little brother" who I will call J is 20 years old, I was matched with him when he was 9 years old. He was adopted out of foster care by a single woman. His birth mom was doing drugs and according to a birth aunt was also drinking during pregnancy. J has never been diagnosed but shows alot of the signs with poor impulse control and other things that I will talk about in the future. He has been in and out of minor trouble during his teen years and quit high school and started hanging with some people that were loosely associated with a street gang. J and I would get together about once a month during the later years of our relationship. J did not have a father and I think he enjoyed the time I spent with him, he would always give me a hug whenever I dropped him off, he would never tell me much about what he was feeling, or what he was doing in his life because I am sure he knew that I would disapprove, but he always would be there when I picked him up.
In April of 2008 I got a call from J telling me that he got himself into a big mess, he was hanging around these people that he should have never been hanging around with. He told me that he was being accused of murder, there were five people and drugs and alcohol were involved and one of the the men was shot and died. J has been in jail since then and his story and 1 other persons story match up, everyone else's stories are all over the map. It took the police about 1 month to figure out that J did not commit the murder and he is being charged with assercory to murder. The man who they believe committed the murder has been going back and forth with his story but did plead guilty a couple of weeks ago. J will have his sentencing hopefully within a month and then will be sent to prison for about 2 years. I do have more I would like to say about J and his situation, but I am going to save that for a later post.
Anyway, so J has not wanted any visitors for many months except his mom and girlfriend, so when I was talking to his mom last week she said that he has been having others visit him, so I told her if he wanted me to visit to have him put my name on the list. I did not really think that he wanted a visit from me, so I was very surprised when his mom called me last night and told me that J put my name on the list. I had told my boss that I would work for 4 hours today so I went into work at 4 am and at 8:00 I drove downtown with the wonderful road construction, found a place to park and got into the building to meet J's mom. We had to go through a metal detector, then show our id to the guards, put our personal belongings in a locker, be buzzed into the waiting area and sit and hope that we get a visit because there are about 16 people in front of us. We did get called but had to share a 20 minute visit, his mom gave me most of the time. I am so glad that i went even though it took about 3 hours of my day and getting up at 3:00 am. He thanked me for coming at least 10 times in that 15 minutes we had, we talked about the Brett farve situation, talked about the court he had to testify in last week, and then our time was over, he told me he loved me and was glad that I am his Big brother. That made it all worth it.
These kids out there need to know that we love them and care about them, I keep praying for all the foster kids out there that need a family, they need someone to care and love them. I talked about this in the comment i left on Torina's blog for the contest she had.
This really hits home with me because I had people that took me in as their own and loved and cared about me and helped mold me into who I am today.
I also am a big supporter of Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization, this is a great program and very little time commitment, 2 times a month for a couple of hours is all they ask, you can do more time. The program has been very rewarding for me and for my littles. If this is something you or someone would be interested in you can leave a comment and I will get back to you. I would be happy to answer any questions or direct you to the website.
I need to go now because Heather just told me that the deer ate all her tomatoes in the garden and she is leaving to go buy a gun, I reminded her that we do not allow guns in our house so she went to buy fencing to keep the deer out, so I had better watch my 2 kids and we also have our foster son with us this weekend for respite. Okay, I had better get out there, DD was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and was about to pour sugar from the container that i have for coffee into her water. She is in her room now in a time out, she did not throw her usual fit when I gave her the consequence so I will have to praise her for that, and Heather is back already with fencing I hope and not a gun, HAHA.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Faces of FAS???
Hi again, I apologize for being so long in writing, Life gets pretty busy with kids and activities, as you all very well know.
You might be wondering about my title to this post, the question marks are because there is no diagnosis for me, but Heather saw some signs of FAS when she looked at my pictures. I know that the pictures are not the clearest, but hopefully you can all see them.
I would like to have a little contest, and I need your help, because alot of you know more what to look for in facial features than I do. If you could leave a comment and tell me what you see as signs of fas, or if you do not see any signs at all, I am curious to get your feedback on this. On August 1st I am going to have Heather pick a name out of a hat, or bowl, or something, and the winner will receive a copy of Liz Kulps book- The best I can be - living with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Feel free to let your friends enter also.
I am off to pick up DD from gymnastics, and DS from day camp, always hoping and praying that there were no fits or rages, can anybody relate?
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