Our family had a wonderful Christmas with most of my family except my brother and his wife with the brand new babies. The babies are doing fairly well, Heidi, the bigger one is thriving and gaining weight, they have been able to hold her a couple of times. Annika, the smaller one, is struggling, she is going to have surgery this morning to patch a hole in her heart, they are hoping after this is done that she will start gaining some more weight and feeling better. Please keep her and her sister in your prayers.
I am writing this from my parents house in WI, we are going to be leaving in a few hours for our 5 hour drive back to MN. It is always great to see family, but nice to get back home also. The kids have done very well while they were here, sometimes with all the excitement from all the cousins and aunts and uncles, they get overwhelmed, they did well though and I am very proud of them.
I am hoping that everyone had a nice Christmas and are dealing with the kids being off school okay, I get to go back to work tomorrow, Heather gets the kids home all day all week.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The twins are here!!
My brothers wife gave birth to twin girls today by c-section. if you remember from an earlier post these are the twins that had twin to twin transfusion syndrome. My sister-in-law has been in the hospital for the last 6 weeks on bed rest.
The girls names are Heidi Clarice, she weighs 3lb 14 oz, and Annika Ruth, who weighs 1lb 4 oz. Please keep these girls in your prayers as they have alot of growing to do before they are able to go home. We are thanking God that they appear healthy and mom is doing fine as well.
The girls names are Heidi Clarice, she weighs 3lb 14 oz, and Annika Ruth, who weighs 1lb 4 oz. Please keep these girls in your prayers as they have alot of growing to do before they are able to go home. We are thanking God that they appear healthy and mom is doing fine as well.
Monday, December 7, 2009
5 Lessons
These were forwarded to me in an email, I wanted to share,
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
>
>
> During my second month of college, our professor
>
> Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
>
> And had breezed through the questions until I read
>
> The last one:
>
>
> "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the
> school?"
>
> Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
>
> Cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
>
> Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her
> name?
>
>
> I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
>
> Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
>
> The last question would count toward our quiz grade.
>
>
> "Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers,
>
> You will meet many people. All are significant.. They
>
> Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
>
> Is smile and say "hello."
>
>
>
> I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her
>
> Name was Dorothy.
>
>
>
> 2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
>
>
>
> One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American
>
> Woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
>
> Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
>
> Broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
>
> Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
>
> A young white man stopped to help her, generally
>
> Unheard of in those conflict-filled 19 60's. The man
>
> Took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
>
> Put her into a taxicab.
>
>
>
> She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
>
> Address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
>
> Knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
>
> Giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
>
> Special note was attached.
>
>
>
> It read:
>
> "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
>
> The other night. The rain drenched not only my
>
> Clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
>
> Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
>
> Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God
>
> Bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
>
> Others."
>
>
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Mrs. Nat King Cole.
>
>
>
> 3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those
>
> Who serve.
>
>
>
> In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
>
> A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
>
> Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in
>
> Front of him.
>
>
>
> "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
>
> "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
>
>
>
> The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
>
> Studied the coins in it.
>
>
>
> "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he
> inquired.
>
>
>
> By now more people were waiting for a table and the
>
> Waitress was growing impatient.
>
>
>
> "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
>
>
>
> The little boy again counted his coins.
>
>
>
> "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
>
>
>
> The waitress brought the ice cream, put t he bill on
>
> The table and walked away The boy finished the ice
>
> Cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress
>
> Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
>
> Table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
>
> Were two nickels and five pennies..
>
>
>
> You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
>
> To have enough le ft to leave her a tip.
>
>
>
> 4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
>
>
>
> In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
>
> Roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
>
> Anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
>
> King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
>
> And simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
>
> King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
>
> Anything about getting the stone out of the way.
>
>
>
> Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
>
> Vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
>
> peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
>
> stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
>
> and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
>
> peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
>
> a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
>
> been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
>
> from the King indicating that the gold was for the
>
> person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
>
> peasant learned what many of us never understand!
>
>
>
> Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
>
> our condition.
>
>
>
> 5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
>
>
>
> Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
>
> hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
>
> was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
>
> chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
>
> transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
>
> miraculously survived the same disease and had
>
> developed the antibodies needed to combat the
>
> illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
>
> little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
>
> be willing to give his blood to his sister.
>
>
>
> I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
>
> deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save
>
> her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
>
> next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing
>
> the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
>
> grew pale and his smile faded.
>
>
>
> He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
>
> trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
>
>
>
> Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
>
> doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
>
> sister all of his blood in order to save her.
>
>
>
1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.
>
>
> During my second month of college, our professor
>
> Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student
>
> And had breezed through the questions until I read
>
> The last one:
>
>
> "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the
> school?"
>
> Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the
>
> Cleaning woman several times. She was tall,
>
> Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her
> name?
>
>
> I handed in my paper, leaving the last question
>
> Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if
>
> The last question would count toward our quiz grade.
>
>
> "Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers,
>
> You will meet many people. All are significant.. They
>
> Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do
>
> Is smile and say "hello."
>
>
>
> I've never forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her
>
> Name was Dorothy.
>
>
>
> 2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain
>
>
>
> One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American
>
> Woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway
>
> Trying to endure a lashing rain storm. Her car had
>
> Broken down and she desperately needed a ride.
>
> Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.
>
> A young white man stopped to help her, generally
>
> Unheard of in those conflict-filled 19 60's. The man
>
> Took her to safety, helped her get assistance and
>
> Put her into a taxicab.
>
>
>
> She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his
>
> Address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a
>
> Knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a
>
> Giant console color TV was delivered to his home. A
>
> Special note was attached.
>
>
>
> It read:
>
> "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway
>
> The other night. The rain drenched not only my
>
> Clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.
>
> Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying
>
> Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... God
>
> Bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving
>
> Others."
>
>
>
> Sincerely,
>
> Mrs. Nat King Cole.
>
>
>
> 3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those
>
> Who serve.
>
>
>
> In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,
>
> A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and
>
> Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in
>
> Front of him.
>
>
>
> "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.
>
> "Fifty cents," replied the waitress.
>
>
>
> The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and
>
> Studied the coins in it.
>
>
>
> "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he
> inquired.
>
>
>
> By now more people were waiting for a table and the
>
> Waitress was growing impatient.
>
>
>
> "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.
>
>
>
> The little boy again counted his coins.
>
>
>
> "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.
>
>
>
> The waitress brought the ice cream, put t he bill on
>
> The table and walked away The boy finished the ice
>
> Cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress
>
> Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the
>
> Table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish,
>
> Were two nickels and five pennies..
>
>
>
> You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had
>
> To have enough le ft to leave her a tip.
>
>
>
> 4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.
>
>
>
> In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a
>
> Roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if
>
> Anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the
>
> King's' wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by
>
> And simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the
>
> King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did
>
> Anything about getting the stone out of the way.
>
>
>
> Then a peasant came along carrying a load of
>
> Vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the
>
> peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the
>
> stone to the side of the road. After much pushing
>
> and straining, he finally succeeded. After the
>
> peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed
>
> a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
>
> been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note
>
> from the King indicating that the gold was for the
>
> person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The
>
> peasant learned what many of us never understand!
>
>
>
> Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve
>
> our condition.
>
>
>
> 5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...
>
>
>
> Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a
>
> hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who
>
> was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only
>
> chance of recovery appeared to be a blood
>
> transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had
>
> miraculously survived the same disease and had
>
> developed the antibodies needed to combat the
>
> illness. The doctor explained the situation to her
>
> little brother, and asked the little boy if he would
>
> be willing to give his blood to his sister.
>
>
>
> I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a
>
> deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save
>
> her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed
>
> next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing
>
> the color returning to her cheek. Then his face
>
> grew pale and his smile faded.
>
>
>
> He looked up at the doctor and asked with a
>
> trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".
>
>
>
> Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the
>
> doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his
>
> sister all of his blood in order to save her.
>
>
>
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Going to Prison
I went last Thursday to visit little brother #2 in prison for the 1st time. It was quite the experience getting in there, going through the metal detectors, emptying everything out of your pockets. Once we were through the metal detectors then we stand in a small hallway and the door slams behind us and the next door opens, we then have to hand our ids to some person behind tinted glass and they keep them until the visit is over. The third door opens and we are finally in the visiting room, #2 is standing waiting for us and is able to give me a hug. We then go sit down, I made the mistake of sitting down next to him, you have to sit across from him and he is not allowed to stand up for the entire visit. There are guards that are sitting on these platforms mounted near the ceiling so they are looking down and keeping watch over everything. Overall it was a good visit, #2's mom and I went together so there was some verbal tension going on between them, I am thinking next time I will go by myself and we will be able to talk a little more freely. I guess I never saw myself having to go to prison to visit anybody that I know, it was a very weird feeling.
It was also heartbreaking to see the moms of these inmates come in with their babies, and the inmates get to hold them for 2 hours, and that is all the contact they get with them. While we were visiting, a mom came in with twins that were about 6 months old and the babies just were such happy babies, made me wonder what was going through the inmates mind, and hopefully holding these two babies will make him decide to turn his life around when he gets out. I can only hope and pray.
Little brother #2 gave me some news when I was there, his 18 year old girlfriend managed to get herself pregnant by some guy at a party. According to her she was so high at the time, she did not remember any of it. She was going to abort the baby but decided she could not do that, I am hoping she will put it up for adoption, but of course #2 said that he will help her raise it, yes the same guy who is in prison for the next 4 years, struggles with FASD, tells her that he will help raise this child. Again I am hoping she goes the adoption route. I am going to keep praying for this situation.
It was also heartbreaking to see the moms of these inmates come in with their babies, and the inmates get to hold them for 2 hours, and that is all the contact they get with them. While we were visiting, a mom came in with twins that were about 6 months old and the babies just were such happy babies, made me wonder what was going through the inmates mind, and hopefully holding these two babies will make him decide to turn his life around when he gets out. I can only hope and pray.
Little brother #2 gave me some news when I was there, his 18 year old girlfriend managed to get herself pregnant by some guy at a party. According to her she was so high at the time, she did not remember any of it. She was going to abort the baby but decided she could not do that, I am hoping she will put it up for adoption, but of course #2 said that he will help her raise it, yes the same guy who is in prison for the next 4 years, struggles with FASD, tells her that he will help raise this child. Again I am hoping she goes the adoption route. I am going to keep praying for this situation.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Well, Fine then I will not tell you!
I have a funny little story for you all, I was busily making dinner tonight, Heather was not home from work yet and i had to leave in 10 minutes to get DS from basketball practice. DD was at the table doing her homework and she gets up suddenly and comes over to the island where i am working and proceeds to tell me about this form that has to be signed. In the midst of me throwing things together for dinner I calmly told her that Mom would look at it when she got home and sign it as she is the one who signs those kinds of forms. DD acted as if she did not hear any of that and kept talking about how she needed it signed, I told her again, mom would sign it. after the 5th time of me telling her that, she loudly proclaims, well fine then, I won't tell you then, and stomps back over to the table and plops herself down in the chair and continues with her homework. Ugh
On a more positive note, we had a wonderful time at the southern MN family mofas retreat, the place was a great fit for us and best of all I missed the magician on Friday night, because DS had a BB game, so there was no funny looking helmets put on this guy. Yeah
On a more positive note, we had a wonderful time at the southern MN family mofas retreat, the place was a great fit for us and best of all I missed the magician on Friday night, because DS had a BB game, so there was no funny looking helmets put on this guy. Yeah
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Here is a really neat email I got from one of my good friends, I just really wanted to share it with everyone.
Stress
A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it f or a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.
* Always���wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"Recalled" by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.���
Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did.
< /span>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stress
A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience,
Raised a glass of water and asked
'How heavy is this glass of water?'
Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g.
The lecturer replied, 'The absolute weight doesn't matter.
It depends on how long you try to hold it.
If I hold it f or a minute, that's not a problem.
If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.'
He continued,
'And that's the way it is with stress management.
If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later,
As the burden becomes increasingly heavy,
We won't be able to carry on. '
'As with the glass of water,
You have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.
When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.'
'So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.
Don't carry it home.
You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you're carrying now,
Let them down for a moment if you can.'
So, my friend, Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.
Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while.
Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon,
And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet,
Just in case you have to eat them.
* Always���wear stuff that will make you look good
If you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be
"Recalled" by their maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again,
It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way,
You're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world,
But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.���
Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...I did.
< /span>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Homework Saint
My wife is a saint, she has been doing homework with DD from the time we got home from church today till , oh wait she is still at it. DD had the flu last week and was out of school for 3 days, so they are busy trying to catch up. DD is working really hard, but as you all know, with FAS it takes a very long time to get the work done. DD has a lot of writing assignments this year, which are extremely hard for her to organize her thoughts to put them in paragraphs and the to make it into a story.
I remember when I was in school, papers were very hard for me also. Heather is extremely patient with her and that is why she is considered a saint in my book.
I am feeling pretty guilty, so I made lunch and dinner, we had turkey burgers for lunch, everyone loved them, and I put a vegetable beef soup together in the crock pot, and Heather made some bread in the bread machine. We both wondered why we do not use the bread machine more often, it is so darn easy.
I am hoping that after DD gets caught up with her back assignments that next weekend will be a little lighter load.
Okay a little funny story about me and my impulse issues, I was cleaning the garage this weekend and I have a bunch of things up in the rafters that have been there for years and that I forgot, so i brought everything down. I found 14 snow shovels up there, every spring I would put the 1 or 2 shovels up there and forget about them and then the next snow season, my brain would not register that I have shovels at home and I would buy 1 or 2 shovels when I was at the store. anybody need a shovel?
I was alot worse, before I got married Heather was helping me clean out my house in Wisconsin and she found about 10 things of chili powder, because everytime I wanted to make chili i would go out and buy all the ingredients for it not thinking about what i had at home, Heather wanted me to also mention the potatoes in the kitchen that had sprouts growing through the cabinets. She and my mom would have some funny stories to tell about cleaning out my house, I lived there for 5 years and I had lots of stuff. I am so thankful that I have a wife that helps me keep my impulse buying to a minimum. Now I just have to remember Do not buy any shovels for this winter, I have a snowblower and 14 shovels, I do not need any more.
I remember when I was in school, papers were very hard for me also. Heather is extremely patient with her and that is why she is considered a saint in my book.
I am feeling pretty guilty, so I made lunch and dinner, we had turkey burgers for lunch, everyone loved them, and I put a vegetable beef soup together in the crock pot, and Heather made some bread in the bread machine. We both wondered why we do not use the bread machine more often, it is so darn easy.
I am hoping that after DD gets caught up with her back assignments that next weekend will be a little lighter load.
Okay a little funny story about me and my impulse issues, I was cleaning the garage this weekend and I have a bunch of things up in the rafters that have been there for years and that I forgot, so i brought everything down. I found 14 snow shovels up there, every spring I would put the 1 or 2 shovels up there and forget about them and then the next snow season, my brain would not register that I have shovels at home and I would buy 1 or 2 shovels when I was at the store. anybody need a shovel?
I was alot worse, before I got married Heather was helping me clean out my house in Wisconsin and she found about 10 things of chili powder, because everytime I wanted to make chili i would go out and buy all the ingredients for it not thinking about what i had at home, Heather wanted me to also mention the potatoes in the kitchen that had sprouts growing through the cabinets. She and my mom would have some funny stories to tell about cleaning out my house, I lived there for 5 years and I had lots of stuff. I am so thankful that I have a wife that helps me keep my impulse buying to a minimum. Now I just have to remember Do not buy any shovels for this winter, I have a snowblower and 14 shovels, I do not need any more.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Prayers requested
I am asking for prayers for my brother and sister-in-law. They are expecting twins and the babies have twin to twin transfusion syndrome. My sister-in-law had surgery yesterday and I am requesting prayers that everything will turn out fine. This pregnancy has been very touch and go, but she is under the care of doctors at the U of Baltimore, which I hear is an excellent facility.
Thank You all for your prayers and I will keep you updated.
I am home today being sick, I think I have what alot of other people have, achy, headache, coughing, but no fever which is good. Last night I had to drive a football team to another school and they had 6 kids out with sickness.
I think I am going to go back and rest some more...
Thank You all for your prayers and I will keep you updated.
I am home today being sick, I think I have what alot of other people have, achy, headache, coughing, but no fever which is good. Last night I had to drive a football team to another school and they had 6 kids out with sickness.
I think I am going to go back and rest some more...
Thursday, October 1, 2009
A few quotes I like!
I am attending a seminar series on FAS and I just had to share some quotes given to us from one of our speakers, Linda Walinski, a mother of fas children.
_ We do the best we can one day at a time; get a good nights sleep and try again tomorrow.
_ Children need to live in imperfect families so they can learn the skills they'll need to live in an imperfect world.
I was really amazed at those 2 quotes and also learned a ton of info from her and the other speakers. I have 3 more weeks of the seminar and i cannot wait till next week.
The other great thing about these seminars are the other families that are going through the same challenges that I am.
Another cool side note, I was at my chiropractor the other day and he is an adoptive dad of 3 kids, one with FAS, and was very interested in helping with getting a support group going for dads. Any other dads out there in the twin cities area that would like to be part of a support group, please leave a comment and I will get back to you.
_ We do the best we can one day at a time; get a good nights sleep and try again tomorrow.
_ Children need to live in imperfect families so they can learn the skills they'll need to live in an imperfect world.
I was really amazed at those 2 quotes and also learned a ton of info from her and the other speakers. I have 3 more weeks of the seminar and i cannot wait till next week.
The other great thing about these seminars are the other families that are going through the same challenges that I am.
Another cool side note, I was at my chiropractor the other day and he is an adoptive dad of 3 kids, one with FAS, and was very interested in helping with getting a support group going for dads. Any other dads out there in the twin cities area that would like to be part of a support group, please leave a comment and I will get back to you.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Remembering 9/ 11 / 2001
This day i am remembering what a tragic day that was 8 years ago. I am praying for all the families who lost loved ones in this disaster. I am also saying a prayer of thanks for keeping my brother safe, as he was working in the pentagon at that time.
My week at home the first week of school went well, alot better than I was excepting, and Heather plane should be landing in MN at around 6:00 this evening.
We are going to Heathers company picnic tomorrow night, it is going to be at a local speedway, it is going to be "the eve of destruction", I am thinking DS and I will enjoy that a bit more than DD and Heather. The food is always good though.
I hope everyone has a nice weekend!
My week at home the first week of school went well, alot better than I was excepting, and Heather plane should be landing in MN at around 6:00 this evening.
We are going to Heathers company picnic tomorrow night, it is going to be at a local speedway, it is going to be "the eve of destruction", I am thinking DS and I will enjoy that a bit more than DD and Heather. The food is always good though.
I hope everyone has a nice weekend!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
09/09/09-What it means to me
09/09/09 means a whole lot more to me this year as it has in past years. This year I have started to speak about myself and my struggles with FAS. My wife and I have been raising our daughter who has been diagnosed with FAS for about 6 years. I have been gathering information and seeing that I have alot of the signs of FAS, my goal this year is to try to get a diagnosis. Please pray that I will find some answers to this.
I have been doing alot of thinking today on the topic of FAS and thinking of all the people out there in the world who are dealing with this, be it the people themselves or the parents or caregivers. I think about my daughter and wonder what if her birth mom did not drink for the 9 months that she was pregnant, where would she be-all part of God's plan. What if my birth mom did not drink for 9 months that she was pregnant, where would I be-all part of God"s plan.
Yes, FAS is 100% preventable, but I need to look at my situation as God's big plan for me, He put so many different people in my life to lead me to where I am now, raising 2 great kids and being married to a wonderful woman who is very understanding and caring.
God knew exactly what He was doing and as much as I question the what if my birth mom had not drank for those 9 months, I know that i am here for a greater purpose.
I am sure that you have noticed that my thoughts are really all over the place and I apologize for that, it is how my mind works. I have another thing I would like to talk about, you have heard me talk about my "little brothers". Today my #2 little bro was sentenced to prison for 105 months for aiding and abetting a murder.
I in no way condone his behaviour, but it brought tears to my eyes as his adoptive mom was telling me about the days events. I really wanted to be there but could not get off of work, and my heart broke when #2 was asking his mom the other day who was going to be there and my name came up first. He and 3 others were involved in this murder, I have talked about the case in a previous post, but wanted to add that his attorney had not briefed him at all, or even spoken to him before today's hearing and the judge asked him some questions that #2 did not answer very well, which his mom feels did not help his case at all. She said that he was very nervous and could tell that he was very flustered by the questions. I should point out that #2 had been to see Dr Chang, and did not meet the qualifications, but I believe that with what I know now that he could have easily gotten a diagnosis.
#2's mom said that after the sentencing he was transferred back to the jail and his mom and family were allowed to have a no-contact group visit with him. He was crying the biggest tears she has ever seen and was at peace with the sentence, but was very scared about what would happen in prison, he is fearing for his safety. He also will not speak up for himself, in jail he was down in "the hole" for over a week because they forgot about him and he was to scared to ask the guard bringing him his meals about his status. I am saying a big ole prayer for my little bro tonight, asking God to keep him safe and to give him the guidance he needs to get through each day. I found this really ironic that his sentencing was on 09/09/09. I will also be praying for all the others that are in prison or jail as unfortunately most of them I am sure have some level of FAS.
May God richly bless all of you parents and caregivers out there that deal with FAS day after day.
I have been doing alot of thinking today on the topic of FAS and thinking of all the people out there in the world who are dealing with this, be it the people themselves or the parents or caregivers. I think about my daughter and wonder what if her birth mom did not drink for the 9 months that she was pregnant, where would she be-all part of God's plan. What if my birth mom did not drink for 9 months that she was pregnant, where would I be-all part of God"s plan.
Yes, FAS is 100% preventable, but I need to look at my situation as God's big plan for me, He put so many different people in my life to lead me to where I am now, raising 2 great kids and being married to a wonderful woman who is very understanding and caring.
God knew exactly what He was doing and as much as I question the what if my birth mom had not drank for those 9 months, I know that i am here for a greater purpose.
I am sure that you have noticed that my thoughts are really all over the place and I apologize for that, it is how my mind works. I have another thing I would like to talk about, you have heard me talk about my "little brothers". Today my #2 little bro was sentenced to prison for 105 months for aiding and abetting a murder.
I in no way condone his behaviour, but it brought tears to my eyes as his adoptive mom was telling me about the days events. I really wanted to be there but could not get off of work, and my heart broke when #2 was asking his mom the other day who was going to be there and my name came up first. He and 3 others were involved in this murder, I have talked about the case in a previous post, but wanted to add that his attorney had not briefed him at all, or even spoken to him before today's hearing and the judge asked him some questions that #2 did not answer very well, which his mom feels did not help his case at all. She said that he was very nervous and could tell that he was very flustered by the questions. I should point out that #2 had been to see Dr Chang, and did not meet the qualifications, but I believe that with what I know now that he could have easily gotten a diagnosis.
#2's mom said that after the sentencing he was transferred back to the jail and his mom and family were allowed to have a no-contact group visit with him. He was crying the biggest tears she has ever seen and was at peace with the sentence, but was very scared about what would happen in prison, he is fearing for his safety. He also will not speak up for himself, in jail he was down in "the hole" for over a week because they forgot about him and he was to scared to ask the guard bringing him his meals about his status. I am saying a big ole prayer for my little bro tonight, asking God to keep him safe and to give him the guidance he needs to get through each day. I found this really ironic that his sentencing was on 09/09/09. I will also be praying for all the others that are in prison or jail as unfortunately most of them I am sure have some level of FAS.
May God richly bless all of you parents and caregivers out there that deal with FAS day after day.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
I am still alive!
I apologize for not writing in such a long time. We have had a busy but fun filled summer.
We have done some camping weekends with different friends, the kids went to my parents in WI last week, we went to the great MN state get together with and without the kids.
We are now back in the school mode, today was the first day of school, DS is in 6th grade and DD is in 7th grade, where did the time go, it seems like only yesterday that they came to us as a 5 and 6 year old, and now we are thinking about high schools.
Like I said, today was day 1 of school and guess who left on a business trip today and will be gone until Friday evening, yes that would be my wife. Just kidding honey, Heather has no control over when she needs to go away on business, but the first week of school? Her theory is that there are mostly men that attend these meetings and they are the ones who made the arrangements and they all have wives that handle all the school stuff.
As you all know kids with FAS do not handle change or new routines well so I was very nervous about how this was going to work without my very organized wife.
The first day went very well, I am going to pray for more of the same tomorrow, DD had an appointment with her therapist tonight and they talked at length about different strategies of how to control her anger and staying on task during the day at school.
I am going to go to bed, single parenting is tiring, I am so blessed that God has given me such a wonderful partner to travel this journey with. I thank God every day for her, for all her love and support and always being there. I will post again this week and let you all know how this adventure is going for me.
We have done some camping weekends with different friends, the kids went to my parents in WI last week, we went to the great MN state get together with and without the kids.
We are now back in the school mode, today was the first day of school, DS is in 6th grade and DD is in 7th grade, where did the time go, it seems like only yesterday that they came to us as a 5 and 6 year old, and now we are thinking about high schools.
Like I said, today was day 1 of school and guess who left on a business trip today and will be gone until Friday evening, yes that would be my wife. Just kidding honey, Heather has no control over when she needs to go away on business, but the first week of school? Her theory is that there are mostly men that attend these meetings and they are the ones who made the arrangements and they all have wives that handle all the school stuff.
As you all know kids with FAS do not handle change or new routines well so I was very nervous about how this was going to work without my very organized wife.
The first day went very well, I am going to pray for more of the same tomorrow, DD had an appointment with her therapist tonight and they talked at length about different strategies of how to control her anger and staying on task during the day at school.
I am going to go to bed, single parenting is tiring, I am so blessed that God has given me such a wonderful partner to travel this journey with. I thank God every day for her, for all her love and support and always being there. I will post again this week and let you all know how this adventure is going for me.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
We have a Winner!!!
Hello again, You would think with the kids gone to camp this week that we would have a ton of time, no that is not the case and the week is flying by. I am going to go to my parents tomorrow night and then pick the kids up on Saturday morning.
I apologize for not drawing the name on Tuesday, but I had Heather draw the name tonight.
The winner is Mom in the trench, so if you could send us an email at JeffnHeather(@) (usfamily.net), ignore the parentheses, and give us your address we will mail that out to you.
Thank You all for your comments, I went to a seminar tonight for fathers of fas children and I have to say I was very impressed with the speakers, especially John Hays, who is a father to 11 children with FAS. He has a website www.hayskids.com and I would encourage you to visit, he has a ton of information to help parents with strategies on raising fas children.
I also want to put the word out to all the fathers out there to take advantage of trainings and seminars, and I would be happy to hear from some fathers and maybe we could build a support group either online or in person, there is so much information out there.
Also Mofas sponsored the seminar and I would encourage everyone to go to their website also, www.mofas.org , there is a ton of resources on there.
Again thank you all for your comments.
I apologize for not drawing the name on Tuesday, but I had Heather draw the name tonight.
The winner is Mom in the trench, so if you could send us an email at JeffnHeather(@) (usfamily.net), ignore the parentheses, and give us your address we will mail that out to you.
Thank You all for your comments, I went to a seminar tonight for fathers of fas children and I have to say I was very impressed with the speakers, especially John Hays, who is a father to 11 children with FAS. He has a website www.hayskids.com and I would encourage you to visit, he has a ton of information to help parents with strategies on raising fas children.
I also want to put the word out to all the fathers out there to take advantage of trainings and seminars, and I would be happy to hear from some fathers and maybe we could build a support group either online or in person, there is so much information out there.
Also Mofas sponsored the seminar and I would encourage everyone to go to their website also, www.mofas.org , there is a ton of resources on there.
Again thank you all for your comments.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Baseball and a good attitude!
DS played in the state baseball tournament today and his team won both of their games today. They will play 3 more games tomorrow and the last game will be for the championship or for 3rd place. What Heather and I were most happy about was the great attitude all the kids had, their coaches have been great with teaching them that by having a good attitude and working together, they will have more fun and as we saw today, win more games.
DS had some problems with his anger at the last city tournament, so we were very nervous how he would react when he struck out. He did not strike out until the 2nd game and had some very nice hits and a great catch in the outfield. He handled striking out very well and we are hoping for more of the same tomorrow. It is going to be a tough day day for the boys, they play at 11:00 am, 1:30am, and 4:00 pm.
Heather is going to be driving the kids to summer camp as soon as the 3rd game is over. Camp is 4 hours away in WI, so she is going to get a hotel and drive home on Monday. I am going to drive next Sat morning to pick them up and then we will head to my parents for the rest of the weekend. I feel bad for Heather, she will be sooo bored at home all by herself-HaHa.
Regarding my contest, I am going to have Heather draw the name on Tuesday night before we go out for our date night at "The Melting Pot", a wonderful fondue restaurant in downtown Minneapolis. So tell your friends to click over and leave a comment and they will be entered. Thank You for all the great comments I have gotten already, I really appreciate it.
I need to go and help Heather pack the kids for camp, oh wait, she says that she has it handled but thank you for offering. Oh well, I would probably forget something, she is way more organized than I am.
Again you all have till Tuesday- look for the post- the faces of FAS- and leave a comment.Thank You again.
DS had some problems with his anger at the last city tournament, so we were very nervous how he would react when he struck out. He did not strike out until the 2nd game and had some very nice hits and a great catch in the outfield. He handled striking out very well and we are hoping for more of the same tomorrow. It is going to be a tough day day for the boys, they play at 11:00 am, 1:30am, and 4:00 pm.
Heather is going to be driving the kids to summer camp as soon as the 3rd game is over. Camp is 4 hours away in WI, so she is going to get a hotel and drive home on Monday. I am going to drive next Sat morning to pick them up and then we will head to my parents for the rest of the weekend. I feel bad for Heather, she will be sooo bored at home all by herself-HaHa.
Regarding my contest, I am going to have Heather draw the name on Tuesday night before we go out for our date night at "The Melting Pot", a wonderful fondue restaurant in downtown Minneapolis. So tell your friends to click over and leave a comment and they will be entered. Thank You for all the great comments I have gotten already, I really appreciate it.
I need to go and help Heather pack the kids for camp, oh wait, she says that she has it handled but thank you for offering. Oh well, I would probably forget something, she is way more organized than I am.
Again you all have till Tuesday- look for the post- the faces of FAS- and leave a comment.Thank You again.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
FAS training for Fathers
I just wanted to write a quick note to let everyone know that Mofas is sponsoring a workshop for fathers on August 6th and August 7th. I would encourage any father that lives in the twin cities to consider going to this. I think it will be very informative and its free. I will be going on Thursday night and would like to meet you if you come.
When I registered, Sierra from Mofas said that women, grandparents, and other family members are also welcome.
As a father of an fas child, I am looking forward to learning new ways of dealing with my child.
For more info on this workshop, please go to the Mofas website.
When I registered, Sierra from Mofas said that women, grandparents, and other family members are also welcome.
As a father of an fas child, I am looking forward to learning new ways of dealing with my child.
For more info on this workshop, please go to the Mofas website.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Work and a short jail visit
I needed to go into work this morning and I was going to go in at 8:00 am and work till 12:00 pm. I ended up working from 4:00 am to 8:00 am because...
My second "little brother" who I will call J is 20 years old, I was matched with him when he was 9 years old. He was adopted out of foster care by a single woman. His birth mom was doing drugs and according to a birth aunt was also drinking during pregnancy. J has never been diagnosed but shows alot of the signs with poor impulse control and other things that I will talk about in the future. He has been in and out of minor trouble during his teen years and quit high school and started hanging with some people that were loosely associated with a street gang. J and I would get together about once a month during the later years of our relationship. J did not have a father and I think he enjoyed the time I spent with him, he would always give me a hug whenever I dropped him off, he would never tell me much about what he was feeling, or what he was doing in his life because I am sure he knew that I would disapprove, but he always would be there when I picked him up.
In April of 2008 I got a call from J telling me that he got himself into a big mess, he was hanging around these people that he should have never been hanging around with. He told me that he was being accused of murder, there were five people and drugs and alcohol were involved and one of the the men was shot and died. J has been in jail since then and his story and 1 other persons story match up, everyone else's stories are all over the map. It took the police about 1 month to figure out that J did not commit the murder and he is being charged with assercory to murder. The man who they believe committed the murder has been going back and forth with his story but did plead guilty a couple of weeks ago. J will have his sentencing hopefully within a month and then will be sent to prison for about 2 years. I do have more I would like to say about J and his situation, but I am going to save that for a later post.
Anyway, so J has not wanted any visitors for many months except his mom and girlfriend, so when I was talking to his mom last week she said that he has been having others visit him, so I told her if he wanted me to visit to have him put my name on the list. I did not really think that he wanted a visit from me, so I was very surprised when his mom called me last night and told me that J put my name on the list. I had told my boss that I would work for 4 hours today so I went into work at 4 am and at 8:00 I drove downtown with the wonderful road construction, found a place to park and got into the building to meet J's mom. We had to go through a metal detector, then show our id to the guards, put our personal belongings in a locker, be buzzed into the waiting area and sit and hope that we get a visit because there are about 16 people in front of us. We did get called but had to share a 20 minute visit, his mom gave me most of the time. I am so glad that i went even though it took about 3 hours of my day and getting up at 3:00 am. He thanked me for coming at least 10 times in that 15 minutes we had, we talked about the Brett farve situation, talked about the court he had to testify in last week, and then our time was over, he told me he loved me and was glad that I am his Big brother. That made it all worth it.
These kids out there need to know that we love them and care about them, I keep praying for all the foster kids out there that need a family, they need someone to care and love them. I talked about this in the comment i left on Torina's blog for the contest she had.
This really hits home with me because I had people that took me in as their own and loved and cared about me and helped mold me into who I am today.
I also am a big supporter of Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization, this is a great program and very little time commitment, 2 times a month for a couple of hours is all they ask, you can do more time. The program has been very rewarding for me and for my littles. If this is something you or someone would be interested in you can leave a comment and I will get back to you. I would be happy to answer any questions or direct you to the website.
I need to go now because Heather just told me that the deer ate all her tomatoes in the garden and she is leaving to go buy a gun, I reminded her that we do not allow guns in our house so she went to buy fencing to keep the deer out, so I had better watch my 2 kids and we also have our foster son with us this weekend for respite. Okay, I had better get out there, DD was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and was about to pour sugar from the container that i have for coffee into her water. She is in her room now in a time out, she did not throw her usual fit when I gave her the consequence so I will have to praise her for that, and Heather is back already with fencing I hope and not a gun, HAHA.
My second "little brother" who I will call J is 20 years old, I was matched with him when he was 9 years old. He was adopted out of foster care by a single woman. His birth mom was doing drugs and according to a birth aunt was also drinking during pregnancy. J has never been diagnosed but shows alot of the signs with poor impulse control and other things that I will talk about in the future. He has been in and out of minor trouble during his teen years and quit high school and started hanging with some people that were loosely associated with a street gang. J and I would get together about once a month during the later years of our relationship. J did not have a father and I think he enjoyed the time I spent with him, he would always give me a hug whenever I dropped him off, he would never tell me much about what he was feeling, or what he was doing in his life because I am sure he knew that I would disapprove, but he always would be there when I picked him up.
In April of 2008 I got a call from J telling me that he got himself into a big mess, he was hanging around these people that he should have never been hanging around with. He told me that he was being accused of murder, there were five people and drugs and alcohol were involved and one of the the men was shot and died. J has been in jail since then and his story and 1 other persons story match up, everyone else's stories are all over the map. It took the police about 1 month to figure out that J did not commit the murder and he is being charged with assercory to murder. The man who they believe committed the murder has been going back and forth with his story but did plead guilty a couple of weeks ago. J will have his sentencing hopefully within a month and then will be sent to prison for about 2 years. I do have more I would like to say about J and his situation, but I am going to save that for a later post.
Anyway, so J has not wanted any visitors for many months except his mom and girlfriend, so when I was talking to his mom last week she said that he has been having others visit him, so I told her if he wanted me to visit to have him put my name on the list. I did not really think that he wanted a visit from me, so I was very surprised when his mom called me last night and told me that J put my name on the list. I had told my boss that I would work for 4 hours today so I went into work at 4 am and at 8:00 I drove downtown with the wonderful road construction, found a place to park and got into the building to meet J's mom. We had to go through a metal detector, then show our id to the guards, put our personal belongings in a locker, be buzzed into the waiting area and sit and hope that we get a visit because there are about 16 people in front of us. We did get called but had to share a 20 minute visit, his mom gave me most of the time. I am so glad that i went even though it took about 3 hours of my day and getting up at 3:00 am. He thanked me for coming at least 10 times in that 15 minutes we had, we talked about the Brett farve situation, talked about the court he had to testify in last week, and then our time was over, he told me he loved me and was glad that I am his Big brother. That made it all worth it.
These kids out there need to know that we love them and care about them, I keep praying for all the foster kids out there that need a family, they need someone to care and love them. I talked about this in the comment i left on Torina's blog for the contest she had.
This really hits home with me because I had people that took me in as their own and loved and cared about me and helped mold me into who I am today.
I also am a big supporter of Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization, this is a great program and very little time commitment, 2 times a month for a couple of hours is all they ask, you can do more time. The program has been very rewarding for me and for my littles. If this is something you or someone would be interested in you can leave a comment and I will get back to you. I would be happy to answer any questions or direct you to the website.
I need to go now because Heather just told me that the deer ate all her tomatoes in the garden and she is leaving to go buy a gun, I reminded her that we do not allow guns in our house so she went to buy fencing to keep the deer out, so I had better watch my 2 kids and we also have our foster son with us this weekend for respite. Okay, I had better get out there, DD was in the kitchen getting a glass of water and was about to pour sugar from the container that i have for coffee into her water. She is in her room now in a time out, she did not throw her usual fit when I gave her the consequence so I will have to praise her for that, and Heather is back already with fencing I hope and not a gun, HAHA.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Faces of FAS???
Hi again, I apologize for being so long in writing, Life gets pretty busy with kids and activities, as you all very well know.
You might be wondering about my title to this post, the question marks are because there is no diagnosis for me, but Heather saw some signs of FAS when she looked at my pictures. I know that the pictures are not the clearest, but hopefully you can all see them.
I would like to have a little contest, and I need your help, because alot of you know more what to look for in facial features than I do. If you could leave a comment and tell me what you see as signs of fas, or if you do not see any signs at all, I am curious to get your feedback on this. On August 1st I am going to have Heather pick a name out of a hat, or bowl, or something, and the winner will receive a copy of Liz Kulps book- The best I can be - living with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Feel free to let your friends enter also.
I am off to pick up DD from gymnastics, and DS from day camp, always hoping and praying that there were no fits or rages, can anybody relate?
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Safe in Jail
Thank You to the people that said hi, my wife is so sweet to say those nice things about me, I love her more than words can say. BTW, I will be calling her Heather as we are using our real names in our blogs.
I am going to be talking about my "Little's" from the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program periodically and today I am going to talk about LB #1. I was matched with him when I was 19 years old and he was 8 years old. He did not have a father in his life, and really no good male role models either. He and I bonded quickly and as the years have gone on have stayed in touch . He is 27 years now and has had many challenges in his life. We know that his mom drank during pregnancy, but I did not really put anything together until we adopted DD. He has been in and out of jail continually since he was 18 years old. He lives in my home state and when we go back to visit my family I always call his mom to see where he is at, so I can visit with him. Every time I call her to tell her we are coming home I ask her where he is because chances are pretty good that he is in jail. Last summer when we were home he was out and working and had a place to live, He and I had a very nice visit, spent most of the day together, he was telling me about how he was getting his life together, was a very nice day. So the other night I call his mom and ask "the question" and she replies " he is safe in jail". I believe that she feels at peace when he is in jail because he is not out harming himself or others. He mostly gets dui"s and gets out of jail and will go out and drive again. He also has a very hard time holding down a job, right now he has Huber so he gets out to work and then goes back to jail after work. His mom says he is actually doing pretty well, making good money and seems happy. I have learned that people with FAS for the most part like and thrive on structure. He lived with us for about 3 months and did great when he had people helping him get to work. I know I thrive on structure, weekends are hard for me when we have nothing planned, I like to know when I need to be at work and when I need to be at an appointment or social gatherings Heather has a schedule right on the computer so that I know where I am supposed to be and when.
I keep praying for LB#1 and hope that he will be able to find peace and happiness, I keep telling him what a smart and caring person he is and that I am not going anywhere, I might be 300 miles away, but I will always love and care about him.
It would be great to be able to get him diagnosed, but I do not think mom will go along with that, she has not mentioned this, LB"s adult sister told Heather and I. Thank You for listening to my ramblings about LB #1 and I will talk more about myself next time.
I am going to be talking about my "Little's" from the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program periodically and today I am going to talk about LB #1. I was matched with him when I was 19 years old and he was 8 years old. He did not have a father in his life, and really no good male role models either. He and I bonded quickly and as the years have gone on have stayed in touch . He is 27 years now and has had many challenges in his life. We know that his mom drank during pregnancy, but I did not really put anything together until we adopted DD. He has been in and out of jail continually since he was 18 years old. He lives in my home state and when we go back to visit my family I always call his mom to see where he is at, so I can visit with him. Every time I call her to tell her we are coming home I ask her where he is because chances are pretty good that he is in jail. Last summer when we were home he was out and working and had a place to live, He and I had a very nice visit, spent most of the day together, he was telling me about how he was getting his life together, was a very nice day. So the other night I call his mom and ask "the question" and she replies " he is safe in jail". I believe that she feels at peace when he is in jail because he is not out harming himself or others. He mostly gets dui"s and gets out of jail and will go out and drive again. He also has a very hard time holding down a job, right now he has Huber so he gets out to work and then goes back to jail after work. His mom says he is actually doing pretty well, making good money and seems happy. I have learned that people with FAS for the most part like and thrive on structure. He lived with us for about 3 months and did great when he had people helping him get to work. I know I thrive on structure, weekends are hard for me when we have nothing planned, I like to know when I need to be at work and when I need to be at an appointment or social gatherings Heather has a schedule right on the computer so that I know where I am supposed to be and when.
I keep praying for LB#1 and hope that he will be able to find peace and happiness, I keep telling him what a smart and caring person he is and that I am not going anywhere, I might be 300 miles away, but I will always love and care about him.
It would be great to be able to get him diagnosed, but I do not think mom will go along with that, she has not mentioned this, LB"s adult sister told Heather and I. Thank You for listening to my ramblings about LB #1 and I will talk more about myself next time.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Joining the world of blogging!
My name is Jeff and I am 37 years old. My purpose of this blog is to write down my feelings about being adopted, having suspected fetal alcohol syndrome, raising 2 children who are adopted, one with FAS, the other with attachment issues, having 2 " little brothers" through Big Brothers/Big Sisters, who are both struggling with FAS issues. I want my thoughts and feelings to first help me personally with dealing with the challenges that I face, and second to be able to help others who might be struggling with the same issues. I am really hoping that other dads out there dealing with some of these same things will be able to find support by reading and sharing. This is a very big job that we have as adoptive dads and the challenges that FAS brings.
I do need to mention that I am a christian and that I will be talking about my faith, but I am very open to others opinions and comments.
I would like to tell you a little about myself, and I will be telling more in future posts, so this will be the general stuff. I am married to a wonderful woman, who I will refer to as DW for "dear wife", my son- DS, and my daughter- DD. I work at a printing company and also work part time driving school bus for charter trips.
I do have a hard time with keeping all my thoughts straight, so I might not make sense sometimes, but I will do my best. DW is an excellent writer and I could have her proofread everything, but this is my blog and I feel that people need to see how sometimes the thoughts of FAS are, which I will explain later.
I am looking forward to sharing some of my life with you, happy, sad, frustrating, rewarding, and all the other times that make up our lives.
Take care, and I will be back shortly.
I do need to mention that I am a christian and that I will be talking about my faith, but I am very open to others opinions and comments.
I would like to tell you a little about myself, and I will be telling more in future posts, so this will be the general stuff. I am married to a wonderful woman, who I will refer to as DW for "dear wife", my son- DS, and my daughter- DD. I work at a printing company and also work part time driving school bus for charter trips.
I do have a hard time with keeping all my thoughts straight, so I might not make sense sometimes, but I will do my best. DW is an excellent writer and I could have her proofread everything, but this is my blog and I feel that people need to see how sometimes the thoughts of FAS are, which I will explain later.
I am looking forward to sharing some of my life with you, happy, sad, frustrating, rewarding, and all the other times that make up our lives.
Take care, and I will be back shortly.
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